If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
