yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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