So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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