You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The adults are the big ones right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize