If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize