He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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