I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
