Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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