I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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