I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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