I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
