You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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