omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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