At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
