We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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