Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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