week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
