who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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