Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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