Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
