Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
