I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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