You're a womanizer and a bitch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
