I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize