Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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