Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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