East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
