I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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