I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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