the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
3 2 1 whiskey
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
