I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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