check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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