Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
