Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
