The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
