I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
last night I used snow as a chaser
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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