so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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