Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
