do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Everclear isn't food dammit
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
