Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize