so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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