She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're too hungover to prance.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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