Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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