Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My ATM looks so different sober.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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