North Korea, Best Korea!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
