I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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