She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
