I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
