Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i came on her dog
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
