I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
