if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
