One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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