So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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