Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
