If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I am morally bankrupt
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sext me about skeletons
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
