i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.