maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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