I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single ð¤¦ð¼ââï¸