Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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