These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.