I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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