That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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