How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
